Reflections On Self-Fulfilment During Lockdown
Is it even a thing?
I’ve had lots of time to reflect recently, as I’m sure lots of you have.
It has been an interesting time, and many of us have been triggered in to ‘survival’ mode.
If we look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (below) we can probably see that the outbreak of Covid 19 just knocked the top off our personal pyramids. In our society many of us have been striving for self-fulfilment, but suddenly, we were in a position where our basic needs became the number one priority (hence the fights over toilet roll and stockpiling of food)
Much of my coaching has been about self-fulfilment and making a difference in the world. One of the most common things my clients would say was, “I’m ok but…” or “I feel guilty about wanting more when I already have so much”.
The ‘ok’ they referred to was that they had ok income, food on the table, a roof over their heads and their children, if they had any were at school or grown up and (mostly) independent’.
The ‘more’ they referred to was the need to feel like they were making a difference, a sense of wanting to fulfil their potential, a need to rediscover themselves after being a wife, or mum, or a ‘insert career title here’.
What many had been missing was a connection to something more, to their intuition to a faith, a belief, the universe or something bigger. They didn’t always know that straight away, but I can usually see it. They want a connection to the magic, the inner knowing, the connectedness.
Those things that you feel when you watch certain films like Avatar, or Practical Magic (two of my favourite films btw), or anything about sisterhood and deep connection to something outside of yourself. But you don’t know if it’s possible (it is).
So when the pandemic, and lockdown hit us, I knew I could help with some really practical stuff to support women through this difficult time, the basic needs parts to help keep them sane and ok (if not as energised and full of beans as before). To that end I’ve continued to work with existing clients, and I’ve run some free groups to do this.
But I wasn’t sure they would need the ‘fulfilment’ part, or the ‘magic’ or connection that they had previously craved and that I am really good at helping with!
What I now realise is that as we start to move forward and discover what life will look like in the coming months, this extra element is perhaps even more important.
I have reflected on difficult times in my life (waiting for major surgery and not knowing what the results would show), major transitions (divorce after a 21 year relationship) and other emotional challenges (alienation from a loved one without explanation) and there’s a common thread. To cope with the difficulties in the moment and the changes and moving forward to a new future, I have delved in to my spirituality ever more deeply.
With each challenge I have gained more faith, more understanding, more emotional intelligence and more resilience.
What’s The Secret To This?
Honestly, I don’t even know what I’d call it but it’s about truly stepping in to your power and flow and being aligned.
And here’s what I do:
- I work on maintaining my energy: the physical side and the esoteric element (yes I do auras and chakras and Reiki)
- I work on my mindset and emotions: expressing myself and asking difficult questions, reading and challenging myself with personal development
- I accept myself for who I am right now in this moment, and I belief in my ability to move forward.
- I ask for help and support when I need it, from those I know love and trust to have my back.
- I work on my boundaries knowing when I can give to others and when I need to look after myself.
- I tap into wisdom, of all the work I’ve done over the years (and they have been many) of ancient ideas and philosophies.
- I question and analyse and pull things apart until they make sense, and I work to fill in any gaps.
- I trust, absolutely, that everything will be ok, that I will be ok.
These are not always easy to do, even when you know how, but they are what works. And I do them all the time, so that when times are tough, I am ready and don’t even need to think about them. And I know I always emerge from difficult situations feeling even more on track than I did before.
These methods are summed up in three words for me.
Energy, Connection and Wisdom
These are the foundations of my pyramid of needs, and they underpin everything else.
They ensure I am always in alignment with my values and my mission.
No, they ARE my values and my mission.
And in my reflections I have realised, now, more than ever is the time to share.
I’d like to share my approach with as many people as possible. I’d like to help them delve deep into their own selves and to find that energy, and connection, and tap in to wisdom beyond their own, in order that they can find and create their own.
I ’m not sure exactly what this will look like right now, but bear with me. I can feel the energy gathering and quickening on this one.
This feels super-important right now. And if it feels like it might be for you, if this speaks to you, and if you feel you want to start to get into alignment and step into your power so that we can emerge stronger and more together, drop me a message here and let me know.
Yes, this resonates with me
Womens Coach, Trainer, Speaker & Author
Combining a spiritual outlook, a pragmatic approach, and a sense of humour Helen seeks to help you to understand, accept and develop your true self and be the best person you can be – flaws and all.
What are your thoughts or questions? Let me know below