Is this you:
- not sure what to do next?
- have a decision to make?
- feel stuck?
- seem to be dealing with lots of obstacles at once?
- Not enjoying what you’re doing – maybe even hating it?
I want you to ask a question.
What If You Already Know The Answer To Your Current Dilemma?
Maybe not consciously, but somewhere, deep down, subconsciously, or in your heart. I believe you probably know what to do or why things aren’t quite working right now.
Even if you believe you’re deeply connected to your intuition and your purpose there can still be moments when things grind to a halt. Or perhaps they aren’t flowing as well as they should. Maybe things are just downright difficult. We all get stuck or out of flow sometimes.
So what do you do when…?
- you think you’re on the right path but it becomes a bit rocky and awkward
- you are faced with a difficult decision
- things just aren’t working out for you
- you’re feeling resistance about taking the next step
- you’re procrastinating or indecisive
You can, of course, plough on through with rugged determination and absolutely make it happen. (That’s bloody hard work)
Or you could stop and take stock. (Hint… try this one, it will find life a lot easier)
If you’re going for the first option, good luck. If you’re going for the second, here is my 3-step action plan to help you.
Not Sure What To Do? Stop And Step Back
Just stop. Take a break, walk away from what you’re doing for a bit. If things aren’t going well then you may as well give yourself a break. Depending on how long this has been going on and how but the dilemma is you may need to take ten minutes, an hour, a day or longer away. What do you do during this time? I would…
- Get outside, whatever the weather. Go for a walk, get some exercise, stand on the earth in bare feet and BREATHE.
- Drink a big glass of water – chance are you’re not over-hydrated so you might as well do this on your way to do any of the other things here.
- Make a lovely cup of tea or coffee, sit down and unwind.
- Have a sleep. Yes if you need it, whatever time of day it is, go for a sleep.
- Do something fun and distracting, for example, go trampolining, get your hair or nails done, dance.
- Eat something yummy and highly nutritious (you may be craving sweets, carbs, or alcohol but try to avoid these).
- Contact your coach or mentor and book an appointment with them – tell them you’re stuck or struggling. If you don’t have a coach go to a sensible and pragmatic friend and arrange a chat (or get a coach).
- If you can, do all of the above.
Not Sure What To Do? Assess Your Situation
Know The Traps You Can Get Caught In
Sometimes we need to re-think why we are doing what we’re doing. There are sometimes a one or two traps laid out for us along our path. Have you ever found yourself caught in any of these?
- The Responsibility Trap: A sense of responsibility has you going down a certain path that just doesn’t flow for you.
- The ‘what others expect of you‘ or ‘social norms’ Trap: This is just as it sounds: I have a friend who is a lawyer, she has been a lawyer for a long time, everyone expects her to do what lawyers do. But she wanted to be a coach, she wanted to show other lawyers who were stressed out, heading for burnout, unhappy or disillusioned, a new way of being. It would have been easy for her not to follow her heart. It would have been easy for her to fall into this trap. Her career cost her a lot of time and money to achieve. She had always been a lawyer, it’s what others expect of her.
- The ‘I should be doing this’ Trap: Sometimes this crosses over with one or more of the other traps. Sometimes we just feel the ‘I should’ without knowing why.
- The ‘losing face’ Trap: Often linked with the ‘social norms’ trap, it would be easy for my friend to feel as though she would lose face if she changed her career and stopped being a lawyer. This can stop some people doing what they want, or making changes in their lives, even positive ones. It is also very often an issue for people who try something new and then realise that they don’t want to do that after all. They may have already been brave and made a change, often in the face of a challenge or two, but then feel as though they can’t change their mind, or admit it wasn’t for them
Assess Whether You Are In One Of These Traps
Think about your situation, or talk it over with a coach, mentor or friend (make sure they are open to your changing and don’t have any investment in your maintaining the status quo). Question whether you’ve fallen into one of these traps (or perhaps a different one that I haven’t yet thought of). Really dig deep, welcome any emotions that come with this. Feel free to get angry, to cry, laugh, or anything else; emotional release s a good thing. One of the best tools you can use for this is to write or journal. Either sit and write now, just a stream of consciousness, let it flow. Or do it each morning and see what comes up for you. You can find out a bit more about morning writing here.
Not Sure What To Do? What Does Your Intuition Tell You?
Now it is time to look at your options, even if it is a case that you don’t do this thing anymore without knowing what your alternative options are. Write them down or draw them out so that you have clear choices to make in front of you. Now tune in to your intuition, what does it tell you that you want to do? Ways to do this are to
- Go out for a walk and see how you feel
- Ask the universe or your intuition for signs to guide you in the right direction. For example, pick a particular image or ‘sign’ an allocate it to one of your choices, preferably the one you are most drawn to and ask to see these over the next few days IF this is the thing you should be doing.
- Toss a coin – yes, really. Not to make the decision but to feel your responses to the options available to you. Assign one decision to each side and toss the coin, then note your reactions to the result. This should help to guide you towards your intuitive reaction.
When faced with a difficult decision, I think about this wonderful quote from the character Babul in the film, The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
I don’t believe there is such a thing, throw a coin in the air and we always know which side we want it to land.
So if you’re stuck. If you don’t know what to do next. If you’re experiencing more obstacles than magic then consider this. Consider that you might actually know the answer to your dilemma, and exactly what to do next, you just need to access the answers.