Why I Really Didn't Want To Be A Coach - And Why I Am Now

There are so many different types of coaches ‘out there’:

  • life coach,
  • business coach,
  • spiritual coach,
  • intuitive coach,
  • success coach,
  • productivity coach,
  • growth coach,
  • energy coach,
  • confidence coach

All different kinds of coaching. And I had done touched on all of these in some capacity but…

It took me ages, and I mean years, to add ‘coach’ to the description of what I do.

I hunted round for a different title that people would understand.

But I kept coming back to ‘coach’, and all the resistance that brought with it. Why was that?

I’ve always naturally coached and mentored people. For as long as I can remember, going right back to school at the age of 11, people talked to me. And they valued what I shared with them, the questions I asked them, and the lightbulb moments I somehow helped to trigger. So, why was I so reluctant to be a coach in my own business?

I knew I helped people. I knew that coaching could be effective. I’d had coaching myself.

  • Was it just because there seemed to be an awful lot of coaches springing up all over the place? No, don’t think so. I have and value my own uniqueness.
  • Was it because I didn’t have an official qualification or certificate that awarded me the ‘right’ to use the label? (Edit: 2022 I now believe this is a very valid reason to NOT call yourself a coach. I have learned so much since undertaking good coaching training and continuing my professional development in this area that I would urge anyone wanting to coach to do formal training. If that’s something you’d like to explore, do get in touch as I now run accredited coach training courses for doctors myself and can point you in the correct direction if you’re not a doctor).
  • I thought it might be because I didn’t have a formal ‘system’ that I worked to? You see, I work very intuitively, I respond to what my clients’ needs are and so I couldn’t really use a systematic approach. It would probably make me less effective. But even so.

One day I decided to research some training courses that would give me the certificate and the system. I thought that if their values were truly aligned with mine there might be flexibility to work in my own way. Maybe I could use my intuition and experience alongside theirs? I couldn’t find anything that worked for me. It was three days before a personal development retreat I was going on, so I figured I‘d  resume the search when I got back.

I’ve Always Undertaken Personal Development But This One Was A Game Changer

On the retreat with the incredible One of many™ team I had an amazing experience. It was fundamentally healing for me. Even though the retreat was centred around money, wealth, and finances, I truly felt that I found myself again. I stood in the middle of the room in a break with tears flooding down my face saying to the inimitable Dr Joanna Martin,

“I thought I was lost”

She hugged me and assured me I’d never been lost. I cried plenty more that weekend, but something inside me was healed that morning,

And then something even more amazing happened that weekend. After the break (where I cried) Jo Martin floated the idea of a coaching certification that she was thinking of putting together. In her words on that day, ‘the idea just came to me about three days ago so I’m just gauging if there’s interest’. In my head I was screaming…

“3 days ago I was googling for exactly this, 3 days ago she had this idea… wow, I love how the universe works so beautifully.”

So I did it, I signed up to be a coach

With this coaching certification I got everything I wanted, incredible training and support a system that totally allowed for individualism, intuition and flexibility, and the One of many™ values are so congruent with mine. (Plus I got a beautiful certificate at the end of it.)

It was intense and challenging, and alongside my businesses, being nomadic and studying for a degree took a lot of self-awareness to ensure I kept my health, energy and sanity. But it was SO worth it for the lives I am changing, and I include my own in that.

What I thought were my objections to using the term coach were all overcome. But I soon realised there was fundamentally more to it than my personal objections.

Why didn’t I want to be a coach before? What was different about this coaching?

What makes my being a Certified One of many™ Women’s Coach (way more than) okay, when I had never previously wanted to use the term ‘coach’?

The coaching I’d had and witnessed previously worked in a very masculine / yang way.

Set goals – set actions – work at it – be held accountable – be questioned – be consistent – be persistent.

In this way I felt that if I hadn’t done the actions I’d set, that I’d failed. I felt that I was being told off and criticised (and no one likes that, I’m sure). but it was even deeper than that.

  • It was never taken into account that my energy and focus for certain activities wasn’t always consistent: I thought this was just me. I believed I was making excuses for not having done the work. Now I know that this is normal for a lot of, if not all, women. And pushing through is not necessarily a good thing.
  • It didn’t take into account that sometimes I intuitively got sent down another path of enquiry or action. I thought this was me being easily distracted or procrastinating, It wasn’t. It was me being in flow with my purpose, and connected to my intuition. It’s how a lot of women work, and it’s okay.
  • It didn’t take into account that I didn’t want to work in the same way as everyone else, or be like the men that I was ‘supposed’ to emulate. I thought I was being awkward because I didn’t want to turn in to someone I wasn’t. Actually, it’s absolutely essential to be yourself, and to embrace your own natural qualities and skills, and do it your way. And that’s pretty cool, I think.

I’m Not Diminishing Goal-Focussed / Accountability Coaching, It Just Wasn’t For Me

No way is right or wrong. Some ways are just different, and this type of coaching resonated with me. It allowed me to be me, and to be in flow with my intuition, with the universe, with my energy levels and with my female-ness… (I’m not entirely sure that’s a word but…)

Because women are different, equally as amazing as men, but definitely different (as I’m sure you’ve noticed), they need to work in a way that fits them. I believe I’ve found a wonderful way to coach women that does just that, while honouring the uniqueness that we all have too.

Spending a full year working through the processes, using the tools and the coaching system myself before I even started the training helped me know how powerful it was. It meant that I found myself, I replenished my energy and knew how to take care of myself. I connected deeply with my inner wisdom, my place in the universe, and my purpose.

I was most definitely not lost at all – I was right where I needed to be to powerfully and deliberately step into the next phase of my life. 

So I never wanted to be a coach, but yes,

I am a coach.

I am a women’s coach.

I am one of many.

I am a One of many women’s coach

An I’m super-proud to be part of the movement helping women to step up and make their difference in their world.

If this type of work resonates with you and you would like to discuss any of the issues I’ve mentioned – or would like to know more about coach training let’s have a chat. 

You can book a free 45 minute call with me using this button →

Helen Leathers

Transformational Women's Coach, Trainer, Speaker & Author

Combining a spiritual outlook, a pragmatic approach, and a sense of humour I want to help you remember who YOU are and reveal YOUR path so you can step on to it empowered, energised, inspired and guided.

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1 Comment

  1. valerie

    Your post is very inspiring, thank you for sharing your journey.


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